Fallen'... and hurt.

When you say you like somebody~ it means you adore whatever that “thing” is with and about him. It doesn’t necessarily mean the person is perfect, ‘coz each person has his/her own description of admiration, way beyond others’ understanding and knowledge. It’s a general word with a deep meaning~ depending on how the person likes to describe it… But always, it is misunderstood by many people~ especially those whose minds are (pardon the term) too shallow to understand. Duh!

I had this friend before~ he was much younger than me… but we got along. He seemed to prefer going out with older (more mature, I suppose) girls than with gals his age, and, in my case, I was in that state of “i-think-i-prefer-younger-guys-now” stage. Kkk… Anyway, we were so close then, too close that people were asking if we were a couple (way back, in my dreams, I hoped).

But we were not. The mutual understanding was obvious,

yet there were denials and preclusion of emotion.

Not to mention the reactions and comments of other people.
It was hard. We were in a situation where we didn’t know where to stand, and what to say, and how to act. We were not a couple. We did not become a couple. Of course, we were considering a lot of things… gossips, comments, hearsays, remarks~ all because of the people surrounding us~ people, who, from the start, have been too crude to put in mind the sense of the sentence,

“Mind your own business!”
Why were they not able to get the fact that we liked each other
~we admired each other…

And then just recently, there’s this one foreigner who looked a lot like somebody [younger than me] I really like… We were almost of the same age; that may be the reason why we clicked... I mean, we were very close at first~ always together~ hanging out, chatting, talking over the phone for hours, sending text messages almost every night, and jokingly telling how much we like each other. It was at first.
My real problem was when a new girl friend arrived. Girl pal. Until now I still don’t know what happened. I’ve just realized one day after that that everything changed. Slowly, our closeness made tracks. The intimacy drifted little by little, as days went by. Then one day… I saw myself and him apart. End of the story.

The main picture here is this~ I liked him, I admit. He really looked a lot like “somebody”. He resembled “somebody” that much that there were times, I thought he was that somebody. But at that time, he was the one present. He was the one real~ I had his company. It was like he epitomized “somebody,” who was, at that time, not around. But I didn’t use him in exchange of “somebody.” He was different from him, not physically though. He’s kind, very kind. I’ve noticed his sweetness, though only shown in his own ways. He’s sometimes strange, yet gentle. He has a great body, and his sense of fashion’s damn good. He really isn’t that good-looking, but I find him very cute and charming. I like him, so it makes sense…

But then, the people around us started to interrogate, started asking about the two of us. We were friends~ just friends~ very close friends… It was fine with me. I was contented with the fact that it was, maybe and I hope not, only a one-sided admiration. I didn’t ask for more, though of course sometimes I wished. But I’ve accepted it already. I know everything’s not meant. And everything’s impossible. Things will never work out. I know. But I didn’t ask for more… Why did people start on intruding? Why did people start on asking? Why did they intervene? Talking about me behind my back! Gossiping and starting tattletales, spreading rumors and stuff.

I like him, I admit. What do they care?! Why do they care?!